Earlier this month, Scottie Scheffler called his career “not the be-all, end-all” and that he preferred to be a better dad than golfer. Scheffler’s answer at a press conference ahead of the British Open — a tournament he would end up winning — went viral and stuck with Tom Brady.
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Brady, a seven-time Super Bowl champion, three-time NFL MVP and three-time dad, understood what Scheffler, a 17-time PGA tour, four-time major championship winner and one-time father, was feeling.
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Scheffler had expressed how fleeting winning can become and wondered is there more to it all?
“It feels like you work your whole life to celebrate winning a tournament for like a few minutes,” Scheffler said. “It only lasts a few minutes, that kind of euphoric feeling. To win the Byron Nelson Championship at home, I literally worked my entire life to become good at golf to have an opportunity to win that tournament. You win it, you celebrate, get to hug my family, my sister’s there, it’s such an amazing moment. Then it’s like, OK, what are we going to eat for dinner? Life goes on.”
Winning is great, but how fulfilling is it?
Brady writes in his latest newsletter that he experienced a similar feeling in 2005 after winning three Super Bowls in first four NFL seasons with the New England Patriots. He brought it up during a “60 Minutes” interview at the time saying, “What else is there for me? I wish I knew.”
Over the next two decades, Brady writes, he figured out how family and career could fit together.
“The lessons came in stages. First, that there is more to life than playing football and winning championships. Then I learned exactly what those other things were. Then, I learned how they all fit together so that what I did on the field supported the things I did off the field, and vice versa. And finally, most importantly, I learned that it was the pursuit of excellence in each of these areas where I found the most joy, not in the achievements themselves. It was the process, not the outcome.”
It’s about the journey, not the destination.
As Scheffler wrestles with what should be valued higher in his life — golf or family — Brady writes that they don’t have to be separated.
As part of his answer at Media Day, for example, Scottie said he’d rather be a better father and husband than a good golfer. And my question is: why are those mutually exclusive? Sure, they’re different blocks on the pyramid, but they’re part of the same pyramid. They’re connected!
For instance, I think part of being a great father is being a great example of doing what it takes to take care of your family. I chose to do it by playing football. My dedication to the sport, the hours of practice, the moments when I was laser focused — those were times when I believe I was doing the best possible thing for my family and my kids, by prioritizing my profession and teaching, by example, what it takes to be really good at your job, what it takes to follow through on commitments, what it takes to be a great teammate; and showing them, also by example, that work is a big part of all of our lives.
Remember, your children are watching everything. They see what you do in every aspect of your life and how you do it. Reading bedtime stories and helping them with homework are not the only ways to be a great parent. And neither is winning Super Bowls or MVPs. Being a great football player didn’t make me a great dad, but how I became a great player certainly had an impact — from showing up day in and day out, to doing whatever it took to get better, be successful, be a role model, and to provide.
Scheffler’s son, Bennett, is 14 months old and so far Scheffler has done a fine job of balancing his personal life with his golfing life. But as Brady sees it, Scottie Scheffler the Dad and Scottie Scheffler the Golfer are helping the other succeed.
