It’s Christmas time again, and if you’re a megachurch pastor (or one of the 38 members of the pastoral staff), you know that a few robes and cardboard cut-outs of animals won’t cut it. You have to take it up a notch. Or a hundred notches.
The Babylon Bee is here with the following list of ways to take your Christmas Eve service to the next level:
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Authentic livestock manure on stage: The smell of freshly dropped stool will really immerse the audience in first-century Bethlehem.
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Hire Skillet to rappel from the rafters to play a Christmas banger: Nothing helps people focus on the reason for the season like melting their faces off.
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The angels’ announcement ot the shepherds includes a 10-minute fireworks spectacular: Something to add a little excitement to the story of God saving mankind.
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Two words — frankincense drones: They’re not cheap, but they’re a crowd-pleaser.
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Structure your sermon around playing clips from Die Hard: It’s a classic Christmas movie, after all.
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Ask your congregants to donate their jewelry to fashion a huge golden calf: They’ll love having the opportunity to participate.
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Tacos: When in doubt, always turn to tacos.
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Pay a woman to actually give birth on stage: A sight that every man, woman, and child will never forget.
People will be beating your doors down to get in once they hear about the spectacle you have in store for them. And, if you have time, you can even mention something about Jesus. What else should a megachurch have as part of its Christmas Eve service? Post your ideas in the comments.
Heartwarming!
