He served double patties.
A Florida man went on an unhinged tirade against a group of teens at a local McDonald’s Saturday — allegedly hurling his soda at them before flashing his bare buttocks — all because he believed they were staring at him.
William Heath, 47, wandered into the McDonald’s restaurant in Gainesville, Florida late Saturday night, and became “visibly agitated” when he spotted a group of teenagers looking at him.
Heath stormed over to the gaggle, who were seated in the dining area, and sparked an argument. In the chaos, he allegedly chucked his soda at the group, dousing two of them in Dr. Pepper, according to a police report obtained by WCJB.
Heath retreated into the parking lot, but the teenagers weren’t far behind.
He flopped down in a bush near the sidewalk and allegedly pretended the group had ganged up on him and shoved him into the bushes, the report said.
Heath then turned around and allegedly dropped his pants, exposing his bare bottom while spanking himself and caressing his left butt cheek, the report said.
A witness who watched the bizarre scene unfold from inside her car told police that she never saw the teenagers initiate any physical contact. She added that she overheard Heath claim they’d punched him, all while he was shouting obscenities about race and sexuality at the minors, according to the report.
Police claimed that Heath confessed to the entire situation after being read his Miranda rights. He tried to defend himself by grousing that he felt the teens had “upset and insulted” him.
He was arrested and charged with two counts of simple battery and two counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition.
Some diners receive more than they bargain for during simple grab-n-go food runs in the Sunshine State.
A homeless man in Florida was arrested after he allegedly tried to hold up a Taco Bell — but the only weapon he had on hand was a “large rock.”
Another homeless man who was passed out near a gas station allegedly attacked a stranger with a ketchup packet, leaving “two spots of ketchup on his jacket.” He faces up to five years in prison on one count of felony battery.
