WASHINGTON, D.C. — As controversy swirls over the deportation of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, Democrat politicians have joined together to call for an individual court hearing for everyone on earth to prove that they aren’t American citizens.
According to Democrats, every human on planet Earth has the right to an individual court hearing following due process to prove that they aren’t American citizens.
“There’s no way for us to know that all people on Earth aren’t Americans if they don’t have access to a fair American trial, which in this case means an individual court hearing with a sympathetic federal judge,” Democrat Senator Chris Van Hollen explained. “Literally everyone on Earth could be an American citizen with all the rights of American citizens unless it is shown in an individual court hearing that they are not. That’s just habeas corpus.”
Van Hollen has been joined by a growing coalition of Democrats pushing for an assumption of “American until proven otherwise.”
“Who’s going to know if someone’s an American citizen or not?” asked Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. “Definitely not me.”
At publishing time, Democrats had further demanded that anyone who is ruled a non-American citizen should have the right to appeal to a higher court.
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