WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States Supreme Court ruled 6-3 on Tuesday that the words “temporary” and “forever” are different, bucking years of tradition.
The court’s ruling that two distinct words have two distinct definitions and cannot be used interchangeably sent ripples throughout the nation, forcing legislators to treat a law or status as temporary if that’s what it actually says.
As part of the court’s official opinion, Justice Clarence Thomas wrote, “Don’t you people understand English?”
Democrats were reeling from the historic ruling. “How are we supposed to sneak in permanent policy change if we’re supposed to treat ‘temporary’ and ‘forever’ as different words?” Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez asked. “This is really unprecedented.”
In a passionate dissent, Justice Sonia Sotomayor wrote, “If freedom of speech, then why not freedom of definition?”
Sotomayor’s dissent echoed a statement from Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, who argued that if “temporary” and “forever” were different, then her childhood cat, Mr. Muffins, really was dead.
President Trump said the court’s decision was a major win against unchecked immigration. “The Dumocrats have turned, and it’s just incredible, really, they have turned Temporary Protected Status into the Forever Protected Status. It’s the biggest scam in the world,” he said. “They’re trying to destroy our country by letting these people in, people who hate America. And for what? More votes. That’s what. The elections are rigged because of it. Our elections are the biggest scam in the world, if you can believe it. And they’re ballot harvesting and bribing the homeless for votes. What a scam, just the absolute biggest. I call it fake voting, but it hasn’t caught on yet, can you believe it? It hasn’t caught on like fake news. Wow, fake news. We’ve come so far with that one, what a great name. I came up with it. Fake news is the biggest scam.”
At publishing time, the Supreme Court had also ruled that President Trump can’t call everything the biggest scam because, by definition, there can be only one “biggest” scam.
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