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Men’s Bible Study Once Again Derailed By Mention Of Nephilim

men’s-bible-study-once-again-derailed-by-mention-of-nephilim
Men’s Bible Study Once Again Derailed By Mention Of Nephilim

CHINO HILLS, CA — A men’s bible study was suddenly derailed when one of its members decided that the time scheduled for the study of Romans was the right time to bring up the Nephilim again.

The men’s bible study was set to study the theme of justification in the book of Romans while emphasizing Paul’s discussion in Chapter 4 of the “blessed man” against whom the Lord does not reckon sin. However, this plan to be edified by the gospel was quickly derailed after Brian brought up the Nephilim again for the 37th time.

“Okay, but what about the Nephilim? What are they?” asked Brian, derailing any hope of getting to Romans. “Are they the offspring of fallen angelic beings and normal human women or what, man? Why would that offspring, A.K.A. NEPHILIM, be called giants if they were just the line of Seth intermarrying with the line of Cain?”

The Nephilim, the mysterious giant fallen offspring of the “elohim” or “sons of God” that are briefly mentioned in Genesis 6, have become a popular topic of discussion among men’s bible studies since the pet theories circulating around them pique everyone’s curiosity but avoid the boring, old law-and-gospel stuff everyone gets enough of already.

“Uhh, okay, Brian,” said Kyle, the group’s leader. “Let’s turn to the letter to the Romans in chapter — .”

“Dude, King Og was the last of the Raphaim and his iron bed was 14 feet long,” chimed in Gary. “And you can’t forget Goliath of Gath. His spear weighed at least 17 pounds and was 10 feet long!”

“Yeah, dude, and what was the deal with the sons of Anak who made the Israelites feel like they were like tiny grasshoppers?” asked Dan as the study on Romans was apparently not going to happen.

“I heard there was a cover-up in the 1st century church to take all the spiritual stuff out of the Bible, man. You’ve got to read the book of Enoch. It’s all in there, man.”

“It’s like the X-Files, bro. Remember when the humans were working with the aliens to create those alien-human hybrids through genetic manipulation and there was a secret government conspiracy to cover it all up? What if the church has been covering up the true nature of the Nephilim?”

“Wow! Who knew the Bible was so interesting?”

At publishing time, the group had decided to postpone the study on Romans indefinitely and instead would just record the group’s discussions for Brian’s conspiracy theory podcast.


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