NEW YORK, NY — As world leaders from around the globe were in the U.S. this week to attend the United Nations General Assembly, the Iranian president was reportedly caught using a cardboard cutout of the Ayatollah to sneak into the HOV lane.
Witnesses reported seeing President Masoud Pezeshkian navigating his way through traffic on New York highways, weaving in and out of the designated high-occupancy vehicle lane with the help of a cardboard cutout of Mojtaba Khamenei in the passenger seat.
“He was trying to be slick,” one motorist said. “He tried to play it off all smooth, but it was pretty obvious that he didn’t have a real person in the passenger seat. I mean, it’s cardboard. It looks just as fake now as it did when they had it at the memorial service for the Ayatollah earlier this year. Nice try, bud.”
As seen in police bodycam footage, Pezeshkian attempted to explain his way out of getting a pricey citation. “Just give me a break this time, guys,” he was heard saying. “I’d appreciate it. As you can see, I’m not even being chauffeured around. I’m having to drive myself. The regime just doesn’t have as much cash on hand as we used to, so I had to rent a car from Avis. I thought setting up the cardboard cutout of our Supreme Leader would let me cut a lot of time off my commute to the UN. Please don’t be a Great Satan and just let me off with a warning?”
At publishing time, Pezeshkian was also facing allegations of using the cardboard Ayatollah to cut in line for dinner at a trendy New York restaurant.
Senator Mitch McConnell isn’t doing too many interviews these days, but The Babylon Bee’s Travis got the opportunity to sit down with the man, the myth, and the legend himself.
