ABILENE, TX — Local 8-year-old Caden Maxwell came home from Sunday School sorely disappointed that “Sword Drills” turned out to be far different than what he expected.
Sunday School began with the teacher, Ms. Nuttall, separating the class into boys and girls, which Maxwell thought a bit odd for a test of violent strength. Confusion quickly turned to disappointment as Ms. Nuttall handed out the metaphorical “Swords.”
“We… we just flip pages to look up Bible verses?” sighed Maxwell. “So you’re saying there are no swords at all? Not even like a dagger? Aw, man. What a letdown. I’d been practicing for this all week.”
Several other boys in the Sunday School class felt similarly betrayed. “Talk about false advertising,” said Lane Bennett. “This is not what we had geared up for. I’m ready for battle, and instead we’re all just turning pages looking for Hezekiah or whatever. Huge bummer.”
At publishing time, Maxwell had been brutally disenchanted to learn that the “Biblelympics” did not include a javelin throw.
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