WASHINGTON, D.C. — Outgoing Congressman Thomas Massie took to the media yesterday to make one final push for a job as an MS NOW anchor.
The soon-to-be unemployed Massie began auditioning for the role shortly after losing the Republican primary back in May, steadily building a demo reel of himself saying “Donald Trump bad” and then looking gravely into the middle distance.
“As a lifelong Republican, I am prepared to slander every Republican in existence, hopefully on weeknights from eight to nine Eastern time,” said Massie. “The American people deserve someone willing to hold Republicans accountable, someone who will have wide-open availability starting in late January and is comfortable making low six-figures. That’s why in my hand I am holding my CV, and if you zoom in close, you can see my contact information. Yes, I still have a Hotmail account.”
MS NOW executives reportedly expressed interest in Massie’s qualifications, particularly his ability to criticize Republicans while being introduced as a Republican.
“We have plenty of people who can say Republicans are evil and should be put in camps,” said one network producer. “But Thomas can begin with ‘Even I, as a Republican, think Republicans are evil and should be put in camps.’ It adds a level of credibility we just can’t get from the other seven people on the panel.”
At publishing time, Massie had tried to hand the proceedings over to Rachel Maddow before being reminded that the House was voting on a farm bill.
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