The Babylon Bee has obtained a list of demands Minnesota Governor Tim Walz wrote on a napkin as part of his conditions to participate in tonight’s vice presidential debate against JD Vance. As is common practice, debate participants must agree on the rules ahead of the debate. It is currently unknown which, if any, of Walz’s demands have been codified into debate law.
Walz’s demands:
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The men’s room must be fully stocked with tampons.
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The moderators aren’t allowed to ask me any questions about Kamala Harris in the last 4 years.
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Vance must greet me with a firm, friendly handshake followed by a passionate kiss.
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Two tickets to either Hamilton, Pirates of Penzance, or Rent.
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If things aren’t going my way, I can call in rioters to burn the entire place down.
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The moderators must call me “coach” and cheer for me with pom-poms after every answer. Actually, I’ll take some pom-poms too. I love pom-poms, wavin’ ’em all around and everything. So brat.
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At the end, we both say “good game” and smack each other’s butts.
That Tim Walz sure is feisty. Will any of these demands make it into the debate? Let us know what you think in the comments.
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