LAKE JACKSON, TX — Libertarian and conservative families alike who live near former congressman Ron Paul were shocked and horrified to see the national debt counter that he had placed in his front yard as a spooky Halloween decoration.
According to neighborhood libertarian Colyn Rhodes, the spectacle was petrifying both because Ron Paul had put it up so early in the season and because of the constantly increasing number it displayed.
“I have trouble walking by his house alone now,” Rhodes admitted. “I see that… that thing out of the corner of my eye. I almost fainted when I saw the $35,672, 265,783,296 a couple of hours ago this evening — and it’s added even more just while we’ve been talking here! It’s scaring all of the neighborhood kids. I don’t know how I’m going to make it for the next four weeks with that thing staring me down.”
According to other neighbors, Paul had also added such grisly sights as an inflatable IRS agent (complete with a clipboard and Uzi submachine gun), a lawn set of FDR signing the New Deal, and an AI video of Dave Ramsey cackling and burning envelopes playing on loop on a projector.
At publishing time, several car accidents had been reported in the area near Ron Paul’s house after drivers spontaneously combusted upon seeing his display of the U.S. inflation rate.
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