If you’ve ever lived in a capitalist country, you’ll know exactly how difficult it can sometimes be to keep your nose above the poverty line.
We at the Babylon Bee have conducted extensive research and discovered 17 red flags of poverty that often show up in capitalist countries. Take a look.
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You can only afford the standard iPhone and not the Pro Max: How do people even live under these conditions?
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Your vacation cabin is single-story: And it doesn’t even have wifi.
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You’re forced to buy generic Dijon mustard instead of Grey Poupon: Now every time someone asks you to lower the window on your Rolls Royce to ask if you have any Grey Poupon you have to sadly say, “No, all I have is French’s,” and everyone will laugh at you.
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You have to watch Netflix with ad breaks: We thought this was America.
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You had to downgrade your Disneyland annual pass to the lowest tier: Now you can’t go on weekends and holidays, significantly reducing your quality of life.
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You can only afford the $7000 nosebleed seats for a Taylor Swift concert: Capitalist bourgeoisie oppression.
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You have to turn off ray-tracing on Cyberpunk 2077 because you can’t afford the new GeForce graphics card: The graphics aren’t as realistic now, because you’re poor.
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You can’t afford to go out to eat more than three times a week: This is what food insecurity looks like.
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When you do go out to eat, you still have to order from the value menu: $18 dollars for a combo meal is just too much for you.
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You can only afford a “Gold Star” Costco membership: Plebians of the world, unite.
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You can only afford a 2,500-square-foot house: You might as well be homeless.
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You can only afford to buy a Porsche on Black Friday: Pathetic.
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You can’t afford anything larger than a 55-inch TV: How could we allow such cruelty?
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Your gardener only mows and edges: He doesn’t even bother to sculpt your topiary.
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You couldn’t get the Full Self-Driving add-on for your new Cybertruck: Driving your car manually is for peasantry.
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You can’t afford to get extra whipped cream on your morning latte: No one should have to live like this.
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You can no longer afford the credits to offset your carbon emissions: The guilt is real.
Well, there you have it. If any of these are true of you, congratulations: you’re poor in a capitalist country.
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