With Hollywood mainstays like Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi escaping the hostility of the United States, how can America possibly hope to maintain its cultural impact? It may be time to admit that the American dream is now dead and it’s only going to get worse from here. The Babylon Bee has learned of even more iconic entertainers fleeing Trump’s tyrannical rule for life abroad.
Here are the latest celebrities fleeing Trump’s America:
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Barbara Streisand: What will America do without the woman who Walter Matthau famously said had no more talent than a butterfly’s fart?
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America Ferrera: Her name is literally “America.” If that isn’t symbolic of something, we don’t know what is.
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Cher: We now know the answer to the question of whether she believed in life after love. It’s “no.”
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Guillermo from Jimmy Kimmel Live: Actually, he was deported, so he didn’t leave voluntarily.
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Pauly Shore: Surprisingly, also deported.
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Frank Stallone: The country will no longer be blessed by the most talented member of the Stallone family.
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The Target Dog: Technically, it’s his owner who’s leaving, who gave him one of those tranquilizers so he could sleep the whole flight to France.
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Sean Astin: He now lives in New Zealand, where he is expected to live as a hobbit full-time.
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Carrot Top: That’s it. American exceptionalism is officially dead.
America is truly toast. We will not survive this loss of creative genius. Have you heard of other celebrities fleeing the country? Let us know in the comments.
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