NASHVILLE, TN — Andrew Klavan has reclaimed his title of Most Attractive Daily Wire Host in the wake of Brett Cooper’s departure.
According to sources at the Daily Wire, Klavan had begrudgingly yielded the title when Cooper started at the Daily Wire in 2022, but was thankful to once again be recognized as the best-looking human in the building.
“Klavan has the physique of a Greek God,” explained Matt Walsh. “If I don’t have my glasses on, I sometimes confuse him for Chris Hemsworth. Though I’m proud that my beard put me in the running, Klavan deserves the title, no question.”
While most agreed with Klavan receiving the title, one newcomer who spoke on condition of anonymity disagreed. “Sorry, not beautiful,” he said, tracing Klavan’s bald head on a picture. “He’s got a large dome, we all see it. The little hairs over the ears, the above average nose. It’s just like — no, man.”
At publishing time, Klavan had been forced to hire extra security to keep the hordes of excited women at bay.
Here’s what RFK Jr. will do to get everyone back in shape!
