Canada Now Officially An American Province

U.S. – After defeating Canada at the only thing it was supposedly good at, the entire territory of Canada has been officially declared an American province.

“And to be clear, you’re just a province. Being a state is for winners,” announced President Trump. “We took you over and all we lost were a few teeth. This is is so embarrassing for you.”

At publishing time, Canada had admitted defeat and euthanized the national hockey team.

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