WORLD — After receiving a compelling email, a confused senior citizen has reportedly pledged to give one billion dollars to an exiled Nigerian prince.
According to sources, the exiled Prince has promised to repay the elderly man the billion dollar sum and then further shower him with untold riches as thanks.
“This fella from Niger, Nigeria, he’s had it bad, folks. Exiled! Betrayed! Beat down!” exclaimed the elderly man, named Joseph R. Biden. “I couldn’t just stand by. Plus, he has an incredible sum of rupees hidden in a cave that he’ll be able to access after I wire the money to him. We’ve got to lift each other up, this is what America is, well anyway.”
Some friends have expressed concern that perhaps the message from the Nigerian prince was not entirely legitimate, but Biden was undeterred. “I just don’t know how many exiled princes are using ‘hotmail’ accounts these days,” said a Biden confidante. “The story just seems a touch far-fetched. Once Biden makes up his mind though, it’s done. Mostly because he immediately falls asleep, so you can’t really talk to him.”
At publishing time, Biden had alerted aides that someone from the FBI needed him to leave $100,000 in a shoebox outside a donut shop because it was the only way to protect hackers from getting his bank account.
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