SPRINGFIELD, IL — The Illinois Supreme Court announced yesterday that it had overturned disgraced actor Jussie Smollett’s conviction on charges of faking a hate crime after new evidence from early this month appeared to show that America is, in fact, MAGA country.
While the case that Smollett completely made up a racially motivated crime against himself seemed to prove that the incident was fabricated, several nationwide reports have indicated that America may actually be, as Smollett said his attackers claimed, “MAGA country.”
“I was sure he was guilty of making it up,” admitted Mary Jane Theis, the Chief Justice of the Illinois Supreme Court. “But after what happened on November 5? This definitely is MAGA country, make no mistake about that. I cannot, in good conscience, allow this conviction to stand given the overwhelming popularity of Donald Trump in this country. Mr. Smollett’s alleged attackers were certainly telling him the truth.”
Smollett celebrated the overturning of his conviction. “What I said was true from the start,” he told reporters. “Those two guys I had never seen before and definitely did not hire to pretend to attack me outside a Subway restaurant were just two of the tens of millions of people in this country who love Donald Trump. Not only was my neighborhood ‘MAGA country’ on that fateful night, but most of America is ‘MAGA country’ today. I stand here vindicated. No further questions, please.”
At publishing time, Smollett had reportedly been assaulted once again outside the Illinois Supreme Court but no one believed him.
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