CAMBRIDGE, MA — Local Episcopalian Myrtle Smith has once again elected to undergo an enormous sacrifice by giving up reading her Bible again this Lent.
Sources say that Smith has achieved the heroic feat of denying herself the joy of reading God’s word for nearly 35 years straight at this point.
“Some people fast from physical sustenance during Lent, because man cannot live by bread alone,” Smith noted, mournfully dusting off her pristine RSV before putting it back on her top shelf. “I’m called to a higher standard of selflessness, however, so I’m mortifying myself by fasting from spiritual food this Lent.”
Smith also confirmed that she has regularly practiced this discipline since her youth, which is how she’s so good at it nowadays.
“It’s going to be another strain for these forty days, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make,” Smith explained, “I know God wants me to give up something important for Lent, and what’s more important than the Bible, right? I’ll just get by on reading Mother Jones and listening to NPR until Easter morning.”
At publishing time, Myrtle had taken on an even more grueling Lenten fast by choosing to deny herself scripture reading 365 days per year.
Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!
