By C. Douglas Golden October 8, 2024 at 5:59am
I’m going to venture a guess here and assume there aren’t too many covert Trump/Vance supporters in the “Saturday Night Live” writers’ room.
This, after all, is a show that famously opened the episode after Donald Trump’s 2016 win with the woman they had playing Hillary Clinton — Kate McKinnon — playing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” on a piano. Viewers kept on waiting for a joke to happen, and it didn’t.
That, then, became the joke: The fact they thought the moment was so dark what we needed was a woman best known for being in that horrible “Ghostbusters” reboot to croon what might be the bleakest single ever recorded by one of the bleakest musicians known to man, all to set the funereal tone the cast and crew thought was appropriate.
It was only funny because they thought it wasn’t. And that, for the past decade or so, has been the case with almost anything approximating politics on “SNL”: What the writers think is funny is only funny because someone thought it was humorous, not because it was actually humorous.
However, sometimes even the fruit becomes too low-hanging for a hungry writers’ room not to reach up and grab it. In that vein, I give you Saturday night’s cold open, in which Jim Gaffigan provided an accurate and brutal summation of Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz’s performance during last Tuesday’s vice presidential debate.
In case you missed that — and, to be fair, I think Walz mostly missed it, too — Kamala Harris’ running mate came across as a wide-eyed, reincarnated Don Rickles who had been given a few doses of Ozempic, then was sent stumbling onto a debate stage without any jokes or any idea how the hell he got there. Two quotes from Walz summed the night up well: “I’ve become friends with school shooters” and “I’m a knucklehead at times.” Oh, indeed you are.
Thankfully, Gaffigan and/or the “SNL” writers provided the jokes that unfunny Don Rickles did not. And yes, of course the skit was predictably worshipful of fake Kamala Harris (Maya Rudolf) and her fake husband, Doug Emhoff (Andy Samberg), who were sitting down to watch the performance with some snacks and wine. And yes, of course the GOP candidate, fake Ohio Sen. J.D. Vance (Bowen Yang), got the typical shaft.
As for Walz, though — well, let’s just hope he had his wine out during the cold open.
After a bizarre — or, to use Walz-speak, “weird” — take about how Vance fetishizes families that stay together, and a joke about Walz, a former teacher, grading midterms at the podium, the “debate” started.
Did Tim Walz lose the debate?
Vance dodged the first “question” about Israel with (OK, humor points for capturing the obvious joke about how candidates talk around these questions, even though Walz did it far more during the actual debate) by saying: “That is such an important question, Margaret. It’s one that deserves an answer because it’s important, and it’s a question that you asked of me tonight.”
“You’re not going to answer, are you?” fake Margaret Brennan said.
“No, I’m not,” fake Vance replied.
Over to Gaffigan-as-Walz for the same thing: “I don’t know the answer, so I’m just gonna say the word ‘fundamental’ a bunch,” he said. “Because debating is 30 percent fun and 70 percent da-mental! How’m I doin’?”
More or less, yeah.
Fake Emhoff then suggests that they watch “something less stressful, like the Menendez brothers show.” Fake Harris, meanwhile, says that she “kind of wish[es] I had picked Josh right now.”
“Oh, Josh Shapiro?” Samberg said.
“No, Josh cabernet,” Rudolph-as-Harris replied, pouring herself a tall glass of wine from a bottle marked “Josh.” (To be fair, she might want both at this point.)
After Emhoff assures her Tim will do fine: “I’ve become friends with school shooters.” Yes, the real quote, which cannot be improved upon.
So, after a joke about Vance, Trump and Hitler that was played predictably, we went on to Walz’s explanation of being in Hong Kong during the Tiananmen Square massacre when he was back in the U.S.
“So I think what happened is I went to Epcot,” Gaffigan-as-Walz said, referring to the Disney World exhibition. “And I had a couple [beers] in the Germany section and I thought I went to China. Anyway, I’m a knucklehead, but I’m sure this guy has some, some things he’d want to, you know, back out of as well.”
When conservatives and conservative publications are lauding “Saturday Night Live” for … accurately portraying at least one half of things, you know it’s really bad.
SNL mocks Walz’s debate performance: “I think what happened is I went to Epcot … I thought I went to China” pic.twitter.com/Uv9uJZah8W
— Alpha News (@AlphaNewsMN) October 7, 2024
BREAKING: SNL just went savage on Tim Walz’s disastrous VP debate performance.
DOUG EMHOFF: “Tim will be fine. It’s not like he’s gonna say something crazy.”
TIM WALZ: “I’ve become friends with school shooters!” pic.twitter.com/esLOpdATc1
— The Vigilant Fox 🦊 (@VigilantFox) October 6, 2024
Tim Walz is getting destroyed on SNL because of his disastrous debate performance.
Here is the clip asking about Honk Kong during the Tiananmen Square massacre. ☠️ pic.twitter.com/kcNXYRsqkp
— Dustin Grage (@GrageDustin) October 6, 2024
Tim Walz skit tonight on SNL:
“Well If we’re allowed to sit up here and lie I would like to say that I actually was in Tiananmen Square.” ☠️☠️☠️ pic.twitter.com/OFmRbawruQ
— Dustin Grage (@GrageDustin) October 6, 2024
Is it worth too many years of sifting through Alec Baldwin Trump sketches that didn’t contain a single laugh? Absolutely not, but if I had to sit through that entire debate I’m at least glad I got some real chuckles from a real comic instead of fake Don Rickles gaffing about his friendships with mass murderers.
Lyndon Baines Johnson famously (if just anecdotally) said that if he’d lost Walter Cronkite, he’d lost Middle America on Vietnam.
Which is to say: Tim Walz, when you’ve lost the “SNL” writers’ room in terms of your fitness for office, you’ve lost the libs. Hopefully Gov. Shapiro has a bottle or three of that “Josh” cabernet for you, because it seems like you might need it after this past week.
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