NEW YORK, NY — Local man Bradley Hart caught some awkward stares from members of his church small group earlier this week after the 38-year-old claimed that he “just doesn’t have time to memorize Scripture,” despite the fact that he had evidently committed the entire 1986 New York Mets roster to memory.
According to Hart’s pastor, Tim Smalls, the issue came up after Bradley forgot to memorize Hebrews 10:19-22 when the group had been working on it for the last four weeks.
“He looked at us all sheepishly and said he hadn’t had the time,” Smalls said. “And then he started telling us about how busy his work is right now and how he just didn’t have any spare time to get that passage memorized. We all took it at face value for a bit, but I started to get a little suspicious after Bradley jumped into a conversation to correct someone who said Ray Knight had left the Mets after the ’85 season.”
Hart was unfortunately unavailable for an interview, as he was too busy rushing home to watch reruns of the 1969 Mets World Series Championship games.
At publishing time, further suspicion had been cast on Hart’s alleged inability to memorize Scripture after the small group found out that he has perfect recall of the password to skip straight to facing Mike Tyson in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! for the original Nintendo Entertainment System.
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