JACKSON, MI — Local man Jim Bradley was just caught in a sticky social dilemma after he forgot the proper protocol for how to greet a neighbor in the grocery store whom he’d already smiled and nodded at.
According to Melinda, Jim’s wife, her husband had been peacefully doing the family’s grocery shopping after work when he ran into their neighbor Curt. Jim smiled and nodded at Curt before continuing his shopping.
Only a few moments later, however, Jim’s heart was seized with the chill hand of social despair and ignorance as both he and Curt rounded the corner into the dog food aisle at the same time.
“He just kinda stood there stunned,” Melinda said. “His eyes instantly glazed over and his hand went limp in my grasp. I thought he was going to back out of the aisle, but then I saw that he knew Curt had seen us also. I tried tugging on his hand but he wouldn’t move. It was like a deer in the headlights.”
Jim said that it was one of the most harrowing experiences of his entire life.
“I thought, ‘Do I run? Duck behind the cart? Smile again?'” Jim recalled. “But then I realized that I’d already smiled. I wanted to nod but I’d already done that, too! I thought about giving him a little wave, but it felt too much like minivan moms at a four-way stop. So I just stood like a rock until he picked out kibbles for his dog Boomer and left. It was the worst.”
At publishing time, Jim had been again subject to crippling fear and anxiety after he forgot the protocol for what happens in the conversation after both he and his friend Ben had finished asking each other, “Hey, how are you?”
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