WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though Americans were up in arms when news broke that lawmakers were pushing to give themselves an increase in salary, members of Congress insisted that they needed the pay increase to keep up with the inflation they caused.
Representatives were quick to defend the proposed pay increase in the face of heavy criticism, citing the need to keep up with the rising cost of living due to the economic difficulties caused by Congress’ failure to address rampant inflation.
“The last pay increase we voted to give ourselves just isn’t cutting it,” explained House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. “We need more money to make ends meet after we’ve spent the last several years making sure everything is more expensive and making sure nobody’s money goes as far as it used to. Not only do we deserve this raise, but quite frankly, we need it to pay our bills. And that’s what taxpayer dollars are for — paying for someone else’s expenses.”
Sources from within closed-door congressional meetings warned that legislators may be forced to find ways to solve inflation if they are unable to obtain raises. “How else do taxpayers expect us to keep affording things they can’t afford themselves?” one congressman asked under the condition of anonymity. “We’ve worked hard to make sure living in the United States isn’t cheap, and we think we deserve a little reward for that hard work. Is that so wrong?”
At publishing time, members of Congress had grown concerned that failure to secure a pay increase may require them to learn to become fiscally responsible.
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