INDIA — In yet another bold fact-check of presidential candidate Donald Trump’s statements, Thuggee high priest Mola Ram has recently stepped forward to say that he has found absolutely no evidence whatsoever to support Trump’s allegations of heart-ripping ceremonies taking place within the Temple of Doom.
Trump’s claim in question came during Tuesday’s debate, when the Republican candidate alleged that Ram had sacrificed a man by extracting his heart and lowering the victim into a lava pit.
“After a thorough fact-check with my sources, there is zero evidence to support Mr. Trump’s claim of heart-ripping ceremonies in the Temple of Doom,” Mola Ram explained, wiping blood off of his hands with a ceremonial towel. “We have investigated the building in question and found no evidence of victims, lava pits, or ripped-out hearts. Mr. Trump’s claim has therefore been completely debunked as a racist and probably sexist slander against the peaceful religion of the Thuggees.”
While Mola Ram’s statement has been called into question by the discovery of lava pits, a ripped-out heart, and video footage of a victim being lowered into molten rock in the Temple of Doom, several media outlets have clarified that Mr. Trump is still probably lying about his truth claims.
“Tragically, Donald Trump has continued to spread his debunked misinformation conspiracies,” wrote one writer for the Atlantic. “Orange Man Bad. Throw him in the lava.”
At publishing time, Mola Ram had debunked Trump’s claim that the priest had attempted to tear his heart out while Trump was hanging from a rope bridge over a river full of crocodiles by saying that he had found no evidence to support it.
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