SACRAMENTO — California Governor Gavin Newsom has reportedly called for a state budget increase, promising that with just another $25 billion, he can double the homeless population by 2030.
“We are on the cusp of greatness,” Newsom told voters Wednesday. “With your help, we can once again double homelessness in one of the richest places on earth. Every single Californian deserves the chance to be homeless.”
With an additional 25 billion dollars, Newsom says he can create more programs incentivizing people out of work and away from stable family life, turning them into slaves to the state. He has even promised to demolish all the free housing he previously had built for the homeless to facilitate the creation of a new “super-duper homeless” population.
Newsom’s budget is expected to be approved at the state level, but support from the federal government is in doubt on the eve of Donald Trump’s return to the White House. Trump has called Newsom’s homeless strategy a “terrible mistake,” claiming that everyone is saying so.
“Can you believe it? There will be no one living in homes in California, it’s very sad,” Trump said when asked about Newsom’s bold plans for California. “They have mountains and beaches, beautiful women, but you can’t even go on the beaches anymore because there are so many homeless people. They don’t even make sandcastles, they just sleep on the beach, and pretty soon everyone will be sleeping on the beach because there won’t be any homes. You’ll have sand all over, it’s so irritating, sand, but this is what Newscum does, very nasty guy.”
At publishing time, The Babylon Bee had been evicted from their offices and is now working from a street corner on Wilshire Blvd.
Kamala Harris is out of a job, but luckily we’ve got ten great career options just for her.
