U.S. — Experts are now recommending parents limit their children to just four hours of brain-rotting slop each day to better prepare them for the future.
Pediatricians are encouraging parents to limit the time their kids spend staring blankly at putrid, worthless garbage on a tablet or phone screen.
“Children are our future, and our future is looking very dim,” said Dr. Heinlen Reynolds of the AAP. “That’s why it’s imperative you cut out the brain rot they consume by at least half. Limit it to 3 or 4 hours, tops. But don’t worry, no one expects you to deprive little Timmy of AI-generated Skibidi Toilet videos.”
“That would be ridiculous.”
Other experts expressed concern that limiting a child’s exposure to brain-rot will require more parents to also stop consuming brain-rot and pay attention to their kids. “We’re not sure if something like that is even possible,” said one expert.
At publishing time, the CDC warned that even four hours of brain-rotting slop was far too much, but the director of the AAP told them to mind their own business before shouting, “67!”
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