SANTA CLARA, CA — A key part of New England’s team experienced deep disappointment this morning, as the Patriots’ offensive line learned that the Super Bowl was yesterday.
The team’s offensive linemen were shocked and saddened early Monday morning after getting up early and expressing excitement about the upcoming game, only to discover that it actually happened last night.
“Aw, man, that was the actual game?!” said starting right tackle Morgan Moses. “We thought that was just a practice run and that the game was supposed to happen today. Geez, this is embarrassing. So all those plays last night when we let the Seahawks run right by us and clobber Drake actually counted? For real? That’s bad news.”
The players did sadly recall some clear signs that the event they participated in last night was more than just a friendly scrimmage. “In hindsight, we should have known,” said left guard Jared Wilson. “There usually aren’t that many people in the stadium for a practice. And there were, like, a million photographers and reporters. I guess that should have been a clue. That does explain why our coaches seemed to be so mad all night. Knowing what we know now, we should have asked for clarification. That’s our bad.”
At publishing time, the offensive line had reportedly gone to visit quarterback Drake Maye in the hospital, where team sources said he was recovering from a wide range of severe injuries he suffered at the hands of the Seattle defense.
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