You want fries with that slab of lard?
Sunday night on ESPN, a Phillies-Mets “Fan Appreciation Day” game and home finale that was moved from 1 p.m. to night for ESPN money, and the Phils’ Kyle Schwarber led off the game.
Schwarber is a thoroughly new-age star as he “plays” mostly as a DH, leads off, hits a lot of home runs and draws many walks but strikes out about 200 times per season trying to hit homers while annually trying to bat above .200. All plenty good enough to sign a four-year, $80 million deal.
On Sunday, Schwarber struck out swinging on the first three pitches thrown by Tylor Megill. Strike three was on the high side, a fastball described in a graphic as a “96-mph sinker.” Huh? Play-by-play parrot Karl Ravech called it “an elevated sinker, at 96.”
David Cone, who pitched 17 years in the bigs, did not explain how one throws “a 96-mph elevated sinker,” perhaps because there’s no such thing. Is it anything like “a drug deal gone bad?”
And the telecast — ESPN assigned Philly a “68 percent win probability” after taking a 1-0 lead in the first before the Mets won in nine — was, naturally, stuffed with attention to the latest superhuman achievements of Shohei Ohtani, MLB’s international cash cow, from jerseys, TV deals and schedules to paywall-hidden telecasts and, now, Ohtani stepped-on dirt that the Dodgers are selling — no fooling — for $150 a bag.
By now, as likely was commissioner Rob Manfred and Co.’s greatest bottom-line wish, we should have all forgotten that Ohtani’s U.S.-based interpreter and valet, Ippei Mizuhara, pleaded guilty to almost $17 million in bank and tax fraud as part of his nearly $41 million in sports gambling losses.
Mizuhara, as per guidelines ahead of his Oct. 25 sentencing, likely will serve between 51 and 63 months — not too bad if, as the reasonable suspect, he’s a bag man-in-waiting.
Unsurprisingly, MLB portrayed Ohtani as a totally innocent victim of his excessive, blind trust in allowing Mizuhara to tap into his cash account for many millions while being extended millions in credit by bookmakers. (Also, U.S. Attorney Martin Estrada said back in April, “Mr. Ohtani is considered a victim in this case.”)
Unlike MLB, I’m not financially bound to believe anything declared by Manfred’s office.
What did these bookies find so attractive about Mizuhara that he was able to lose millions from an anonymous party’s bank account and still have a line of credit in the multi-millions? How could there have been such a huge fire that produced no trail of smoke? MLB would have us believe that Mizuhara’s bookies had no idea where his money came from or how he was able to establish such a cosmic line of credit.
Why did MLB portray Ohtani as a mere victim who was, at worst, an ignorant enabler, a victim of his own rotten idea to allow Mizuhara — a bungling amateur — the keys to his swelling kingdom? “Honey, have you seen my stack of $17 million? I seem to have misplaced it.”
How was it possible for Ohtani to have been totally unaware? Where were his accountants and/or bank officers to provide even minimal diligence?
As a senior executive compliance officer/investigator of a large financial firm — one who predicted that Ohtani and MLB would be the beneficiaries of a quick cover-up — explained, it seems far-fetched that nobody in his orbit had any idea what was going on.
“Whenever you transfer a cash amount larger than $10,000 in the U.S. banking system, it triggers SARs — Suspicious Activity Reports. This must be reviewed, reported and documented by multiple layers of bank management, from the branch system to the compliance department and even the legal department when there are multiple instances.
“These are must-comply matters.
“These are then required to be filed with FinCEN [the Financial Crimes Enforcement Network run by the U.S. Treasury] whenever fraudulent activities are even suspected.
“The pattern here screams ‘Fraud!’ Red flags everywhere.
“Or are we to believe that there were, say, 34 transfers of $500,000 [totaling $17 million] each to a known bookmaker or bookmakers and no one noticed? Impossible!”
But we’re to believe that Mizuhara was able to use Ohtani’s millions to pay roughly $41 million in gambling losses without Ohtani aware that his money was missing? If Mr. Manfred’s business wasn’t an extremely interested party, would he buy that?
Not that we’d be inclined to consider that anything that went on or goes on in the Bud Selig/Rob Manfred Era is based on anything better than a money-first con, but it was interesting to note, Sunday night, at the end of Phils-Mets, that Ravech thanked all those players who wore ESPN’s in-game microphones during the season as if they were volunteers.
But the participating players were paid $10,000 a game to wear those mics. The CBA stipulates 15 grand per game in the postseason.
From the first batter, who struck out on a “96-mph elevated sinker,” to the last, 100 percent “win probability out,” it was all a con. Again.
Thibodeaux skates with little effort
Last season Fox’s Daryl “Moose” Johnston, careful not to take shots at players as opposed to nameless, faceless game officials, broke his habit by wondering aloud why Giants LB/DE and 2022 No. 5 overall Kayvon Thibodeaux had disappeared all game.
Same, this season. Two Sundays ago against Washington, Thibodeaux, if seen playing any defense, appeared at the very end of plays as a disengaged chaser, well after tackles.
This past Sunday, at the Browns, Thibodeaux had been relegated to part-time status and, again, didn’t appear particularly active when he was in. While four Giants played all 67 defensive snaps, Thibodeaux, once a pass rusher and short coverage man, played only 52.
With 4:32 left, Thibodeaux finally showed up, penetrating the offensive line and making a tackle for a loss on third-and-1. Fox’s Jonathan Vilma then took us on an extended trip down Imaginary Avenue that included:
“And what I like about Thibodeaux is that he plays hard. Watching him play, watching the film, he gets after it.”
Must’ve been an old film, something on Turner Classic Movies.
Who cares if the nation has been hit with an epidemic of young men losing whatever money they have, plus hundreds in credit, gambling on sports? Yet those who could do the most to sound the alarm to warn young fools clear of a business predicated on investors losing their money are in bed with the pimps.
ESPN, during its latest “Monday Night Football,” included an ESPN BET ad starring Mike Greenberg, Molly Qerim, Chris Russo and Stephen A. Smith.
Thus, all four have disqualified themselves from providing unfettered, honest public takes on a sports-attached scourge afflicting sports and the good and welfare of their listeners and viewers.
Big-time champs luring small-time chumps. How heroic!
