Nav Press, Inc., publisher of The Message, announced The Kamala Harris Version of the Holy Bible. It features text lovingly translated by linguists from Indian to Jamaican, back to Indian, then into English, and then into Kamala’s version of English. This is the most diverse and equitable Bible yet!
Here’s a sneak peek at some inspiring verses from an advance copy:
Psalm 55:22
Cast your burden on the Lord, and you will be unburdened by what has been.
Mark 4:39
And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Excuse me, I’m speaking!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
John 3:16
For God so loved the world, and love is love. And when you think about it, love is when you love something. We all should love something. Or, sometimes, we can love many things. Sometimes love can be big, and sometimes love can be little. There is so much love in love, and when you love, and love love, the love you feel will make you love.
Matthew 18:17
“And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the IRS; and if he refuses to listen even to the IRS, let him be to you as a Republican and a Trump supporter.”
Acts 2:6
And at this sound the multitude came together, and they were bewildered, because each one was hearing them speak in their own accent.
Acts 16:30-31
30 [The jailer] said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” 31 They said, “I was born into a middle-class family.”
Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, which shall be taxed at the same rate as unrealized capital gains.
Romans 13:1
For all authority comes from Obama, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by Him.
Galatians 5:1
It is for fweedom Christ has set us fwee.
2 Timothy 4:13
When you come, bring a coffee cup. But not the one with the white lid because my lipstick gets all over it. Can we do something about the lid?
Wow! This is sure to prick your heart. We did it, Joe!
Babylon Bee subscriber Ben Mereness contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!
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