U.S. — A strong, capable, independent, girlboss of a woman that “don’t need no man” has reportedly asked a man to accompany her on a job interview in case there are any hard questions.
Tim Walz, running mate for Kamala Harris on her 2024 presidential campaign, didn’t need any further explanation. “Yeah, okay,” he sighed. “I knew what I was signing up for.”
According to sources, the pair prepped for the softball interview long into the night. Walz had hoped to prepare her enough that he wouldn’t have to go, but reluctantly, he called it a night after she failed to answer a question about her favorite ice cream flavor.
“Come on, this is easy,” said Walz.
“Well, there’s just so many flavors!” Harris said, unable to contain her laughter. “There’s chocolate, of course; always a classic. And vanilla! Right? But what is flavor? The flavor is what our tongue likes. If it likes something, right? Then we like it. You know? And ice cream is more expensive these days. It’s getting harder and harder to put ice cream on the table. And I know that because I also have a table. I have a house. I have a car. But some people don’t have those. So basically, that’s bad.”
At publishing time, Kamala Harris had been asked about Israel but fortunately Tim Walz had interrupted just in time by shouting, “I like dogs!”
A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!
Watch how a D.E.I. consultant magically turns a video game into… well, something else entirely.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more uplifting DEI videos!
