NASHVILLE, TN — In honor of her new husband, Travis Kelce, pop megastar Taylor Swift has released a new single titled “Look What You Made Me Invest In.”
With Kelce losing millions of dollars from the couple’s fortune in an investment Ponzi scheme, Swift decided to do what she does best and turn that anguish into music.
I had a nice portfolio, safe and sound
Index funds and bonds, feet on the ground
Then you walked in with a business plan
Said, “Babe, trust me, I know this man”
“Maybe I should have known that an illegal immigrant flying private planes named Siddharth Jawahar wasn’t on the up-and-up,” sighed Kelce, looking at their depleted account statement. “He just seemed so cool, and he said he could get me my own crypto coin! KelceCoin87. How cool is that? But in reality, he just stole $35 million. Hindsight, you know?”
You said the returns were guaranteed
Forty percent? Well, yes indeed
I wired the cash, you kissed my cheek
Now the FBI would like to speakLook what you made me invest in,
Look what you made me invest in,
Look what you just made me invest in —
Oh no, oh no, oh no.
Asked about the inspiration for her new remix, Swift explained it primarily dealt with her new husband losing millions of dollars in a Ponzi scheme. “It’s really pretty straightforward,” said Swift. “The song just tells exactly what Travis did in chronological order that led to losing a ton of money. That’s about it.”
Now every check is bouncing
The SEC is pouncing
You keep saying, “Give it time”
Travis, the guy fled to Belize last nightLook what you made me invest in,
Look what you made me invest in,
Look what you just made me invest in —
Oh no, oh no, oh no.
At publishing time, Swift had announced that she would also be releasing one more single: “We Are Never Ever Getting Our Money Back.”
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