NEW YORK, NY — In a landmark change to what had always been viewed as an iconic inscription, the word “terrorists” was added to the list of people groups in Emma Lazarus’s poem on the Statue of Liberty plaque.
While the original version of the poem had been in place on the statue’s pedestal since 1903, officials believed an update was necessary to reflect the more modern position of the country’s current leaders regarding immigration.
The plaque will now read: “Give me your tired, your poor, your terrorists, your huddled masses…”
“The inscription is much more accurate now,” said National Parks Service spokesperson Catherine Starling. “Though the original poem covered the main demographics coming into the country at the end of the 19th century, it’s now blatantly outdated. With the Biden administration making it a priority to import countless jihadi terrorists into the country, it makes sense to include that important segment of the populace on the plaque’s inscription. It wouldn’t feel right not to mention the terrorists.”
One recently arrived terrorist was enthusiastic about the update. “I feel more represented now,” said Anwar Musab Al Alawi. “When I came into the country — illegally, of course — I was disheartened by the fact that we terrorists were not mentioned on the inscription of the Statue of Liberty. Yet another example of the rampant discrimination and lack of representation in American culture. It really makes me want to blow up a building. Thankfully, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have added us to the plaque. Now I’ll feel much happier and emboldened as I plan an act of mass-murder. Thank you, and death to America!”
At publishing time, the updated plaque, the pedestal, and the Statue of Liberty had been destroyed in a terrorist attack.
Babylon Bee subscriber Sir Charles Montgump contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!
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