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7 Major Advantages Of Female Umpires

7-major-advantages-of-female-umpires
7 Major Advantages Of Female Umpires

While naysayers doubted Major League Baseball’s decision to hire its first female umpire, the advantages have already proved undeniable. Here are seven huge benefits of having lady umps:

  1. They are better at sweeping up home plate: It will be so much more neat and tidy.

  2. Managers won’t bother arguing with umpires since they know they’ll lose: Managers will simply say “I’m sorry” and move on.

  3. Doesn’t hurt to get hit in the boobs: We think.

  4. Women are never wrong so female umps are always 100% accurate: It’s truly remarkable.

  5. Players will stop using profanity since a lady is present: No more potty mouths out there.

  6. Their superior laundry skills can help get the stains out of uniforms: A solution at last.

  7. All the players will get juice boxes after the game, win or lose: Hooray!

Great move, MLB. Let us know of any other perks there are to having lady umpires.


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