NEW YORK, NY — In a desperate attempt to blend in, son of the President Barron Trump has reportedly resorted to putting his knees in his shoes and walking around campus like a normal-height person.
Eyewitnesses said the NYU freshman seemed much more at ease shuffling around in his knee-shoes, reaching a sensible height of only 6 feet.
“I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president,” said Barron to reporters. “Everywhere I go, I hear: ‘Who is that giant person?’ or ‘Hey look! It’s the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!’ or ‘REEEEEEEEE!’ It’s really exhausting.”
Sources say Barron is already enjoying a somewhat normal campus life after losing some of his height. “We hardly even notice him anymore,” said one student. “Except for the 12 armed guards that follow him around. That still stands out a little bit.”
At publishing time, Barron Trump had asked his security detail to disguise themselves as various green shrubbery.
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