MANHATTAN, NY — Broadway audiences were in for a real treat when Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas took the stage to star as Annie in a remake of the hit musical.
Anticipation for Thomas’ starring role had been building up for months, but nothing could have prepared New York for the mighty roar of delight that shook Broadway as Thomas stepped out singing “Maybe” in a deep bass voice.
“I was shaking, crying, overcome,” recalled Samantha Nathers, who had front-row tickets. “We all were. It was like heaven.”
Theater-goers say that Thomas kept audiences on the edges of their seats for the two weeks that the production ran, raking in nearly $120 million in ticket sales.
Even the critics seemed to be left speechless by Thomas’ voice.
“I have been covering Broadway for 38 years and always found something to gripe about,” wrote John H. McStufinnes, a culture columnist at the New York Times. “Thomas was impeccable. His renditions of “Tomorrow” and “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile” left me in tears, and almost made me forget about his evil decision to strip away abortion rights and turn America into The Handmaid’s Tale. I can die happy now.”
Thomas left audiences and fans devastated by declaring that he had to go back to saving the United States one court case at a time.
At publishing time, the rest of the Supreme Court had voted 8-1 that Thomas was the best Broadway actor who is also a sitting Supreme Court Justice. Justice Sotomayor voted for herself.
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