U.S. — In what sources described as a “cruel” step to reduce waste of taxpayer funding at all levels, the Department of Government Efficiency has announced plans to force government offices to use only single-ply toilet paper.
The department headed up by Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy took a hardline stance against government inefficiency, setting its sights on eliminating wasteful spending wherever it is found, including millions of bathroom stalls in federal buildings nationwide.
“Any government facility that believes it is worthy of two-play toilet paper must show cause,” Ramaswamy said in a post on his X account. “The federal government has become bloated and horribly inefficient, which is why we’re cutting costs in every way we can. If you can’t take care of your business with single-ply toilet paper, you can’t be trusted to take care of business for the American people.”
Federal employees expressed outrage. “Single-ply? This is too far,” said one government worker who asked to remain anonymous. “Have you ever tried to use single-ply toilet paper? It’s disgusting. These people from DOGE are just trying to come up with new ways to be mean. Whatever money they save by forcing us to use single-ply toilet paper they’re going to end up spending more on soap and hand sanitizer, because… well… it’s going to be gross.”
At publishing time, Musk reiterated that the switch would be non-negotiable. “Anyone working on behalf of the American public must be willing to get their hands dirty,” he said. “In more ways than one.”
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