SOUTH BEND, IN — According to sources, local husband and father Glenn Riverton has reportedly entered the crossword era of his life.
“Ooh!” he was overheard exclaiming as a copy of the New York Times arrived on his doorstep. “It’s crossword time!”
“This is not the man I married,” Riverton’s wife, Marcia said. “What happened to him? I want the old Glenn back.”
According to the Riverton family, they expected Glenn to buy a fancy new car after retirement, but instead, he’s been diving into the wild world of word games.
“What’s a five-letter word for a gender-neutral possessive?” Riverton asked.
According to experts, the crossword era is an inevitability for many men. “The latest science suggests this is just a natural part of the aging process,” noted Dr. Alcone Stephens. “It comes sometime after the video game era and right before the shuffleboard era.”
At publishing time, Glenn Riverton also developed a slight interest in the game of Boggle, much to his family’s dismay.
Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!
