TULSA, OK — Local dad Tim Gardner admitted to sort of phoning in the last 50 or so pages of a Dr. Seuss book last night.
He had gotten his son tucked into bed for his nightly bedtime story but quickly zoned out just a few pages into One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.
“Man, these books go on for a while,” Gardner said. “I got to ‘Bump! Bump! Bump! Did you ever ride a Wump?’ and I sort of lost the energy. It’s hard to keep up with the voices and all that for what feels like a thousand pages.”
At one point, Gardner’s son, Alex, protested, telling his father “That’s not how Mommy reads it when she puts me to bed!” and “You need to do the dance Mommy does when she reads ‘Hop! Hop! Hop! I am a Yop.” Gardner was adamant that he tried his best but it had been a long day and he really just wanted to seal the deal on bedtime and watch an episode of The Bear before hitting the hay.
“I know I should have pumped it up a bit, but wow… sometimes I think Dr. Seuss wrote those books as punishment to parents for… well I don’t know but it’s brutal sometimes.”
At publishing time, Gardner decided to attempt to convince his son he didn’t need that fifth glass of water and asked if he could please just go to bed and no he couldn’t play a game of “Ring the Gack” like the kids in the book did because it’s time to sleep.
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