U.S. — Bewildered Democrats watched in utter confusion today as Venezuelans cheered the downfall of warm, cozy collectivism.
With longtime communist dictator Nicolas Maduro being deposed overnight, Venezuelans have taken to the streets in tearful celebration, baffling liberals.
“What’s wrong with these people?” asked liberal Stauncey Billups, watching the festivities. “How can they be happy at a time like this, with their dear, sweet collectivism being ripped away? They must not understand how good they’ve had it, being free of rugged individualism. The fools!”
Democrats have posed several theories, including perhaps that Venezuela had failed to try real collectivism. “Maybe they just didn’t do it right,” said longtime Democrat Jason Barrington. “I don’t get it, they’re going to lose all that free housing, daycare, healthcare, everything. All the joys of collectivism are going away, yet they’re cheering. It just doesn’t make sense.”
At publishing time, Democrats had begun an initiative to help Venezuelans immigrate to North Korea to get back into collectivism’s warm embrace.
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