MILWAUKEE, WI — “It’s a little quaint,” said James Nelson, pausing to violently ralph his guts up. “But it’s our tradition.
According to the 45-year-old father of six, his family has been engaged in a fun annual holiday tradition called “Everyone Gets Violently Ill And Takes Turns Annihilating The Bathroom, Ho, Ho, Ho!” ever since he and his wife Anna first got married 21 years ago.
“It’s pretty self-explanatory, to be honest,” Nelson said, wincing as his six-year-old flew into the downstairs bathroom and began destroying the toilet. “We like to start it off with a little G.I. bug to get everyone’s pipes loosened up, and then we have a really strong dose of Notovirus come in to knock us all out for a week or so. We do it at least once or twice every Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s a hoot.”
Nelson smiled, fondly reminiscing about Christmasses past as Anna began banging on the door of the couple’s bathroom.
“Can you get a bowl from the kitchen, honey? Or maybe just hold it for a sec?” James called. “I’m a bit occupied right now.”
At publishing time, the Nelsons had reportedly considered extending their tradition to spring break every year, as well.
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