AUSTIN, TX — Following the aggressive action taken by California against humor, satire, and online memes, Governor Greg Abbott signed an executive order to declare Texas a sanctuary state for memers.
The news came as a tremendous relief to hundreds of thousands of meme creators in California, who immediately abandoned their homes and began the arduous journey to Texas in search of the freedom to meme.
“To all memers out there: Texas will embrace you,” Abbott said at a press conference announcing the order. “No memer should live under the type of despotic rule and suppression of the right to be funny that we’re seeing in other states. I officially declare the state of Texas open to all memers who dream of creating sick burns and dank viral memes.”
Sources say Governor Newsom responded by making a soyjak face and saying “NOOOOOOOO! Are you really going to make your state a sanctuary for dangerous disinformation?” Sources later confirmed that Governor Abbott responded by making a chad face and saying “YES.”
The move was also met with immediate criticism from Democrats who accused Abbott of creating a dangerous environment populated by dangerous jokesters with unfettered ability to share harmful pictures and words. Abbott was undeterred by the criticism. “Give me memes or give me death,” he said defiantly. “To paraphrase the poet Emma Lazarus: ‘Give me your jokes, your satire, your AI-generated images yearning to meme free.’ As long as there is breath in my lungs and grease on my wheels, Texas will be a bastion of freedom for those who meme!”
At publishing time, a vast caravan of refugee memers was reported to already be amassing along the pathway from the west coast to Texas, full of online content creators in search of humor asylum in the Lone Star State.
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