in

‘Maybe We Took A Wrong Turn Somewhere,’ Thinks Party Whose Candidate Just Got Endorsed By Dick Cheney And Vladimir Putin

‘maybe-we-took-a-wrong-turn-somewhere,’-thinks-party-whose-candidate-just-got-endorsed-by-dick-cheney-and-vladimir-putin
‘Maybe We Took A Wrong Turn Somewhere,’ Thinks Party Whose Candidate Just Got Endorsed By Dick Cheney And Vladimir Putin

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Insiders within the party that just had its candidate endorsed by Vladimir Putin and Dick Cheney report that its voters are starting to wonder if perhaps they took a wrong turn somewhere.

According to a top-ranking official in the DNC who spoke on condition of anonymity, Kamala’s recent endorsements have left insiders a bit unsettled. “I mean, Dick Cheney? Seriously?” said the woman. “I’m really starting to question where we might have gone astray. So far, we have the support of Iran, Hamas, Putin, and Dick Cheney. That is…not a great list.”

Democrat strategists are reportedly working around the clock to develop a way to keep the worst people on the planet from announcing their support for Harris. Potential ideas thus far include broadcasting Kamala’s cackle in cities five times a day, doing a cringe Tik-Tok dance, or buying more Doritos from truck stops.

“I could handle Putin and Iran, I guess. But, Dick Cheney??” said local Democrat Sandra Denison. “It’s time to take a long, hard look in the mirror.”

At publishing time, the Democrat party had reportedly asked if anyone named Cheney would please, please reconsider their endorsement.


BIG NEWS: We made a movie, and you can watch the trailer NOW:

Click here to find out how you can watch the movie when it releases on October 11

kamala-quietly-asks-aides-if-she-should-just-try-sleeping-with-the-economy

Kamala Quietly Asks Aides If She Should Just Try Sleeping With The Economy

americans-unanimously-agree-to-vote-for-whichever-candidate-stops-sending-them-campaign-donation-text-messages

Americans Unanimously Agree To Vote For Whichever Candidate Stops Sending Them Campaign Donation Text Messages