ATLANTA, GA — Locals have begun questioning the authenticity of purported Mexican restaurant “El Bandido” as ICE has yet to raid the restaurant a single time.
With nearby restaurants being hit by ICE on a near-daily basis, concerns about El Bandido’s genuineness have risen as no waiter, cook, or busboy has been taken into custody.
“It’s a bad look,” said former patron Dan Billings. “How do you claim to serve authentic Mexican cuisine and your kitchen door hasn’t even been broken down by ICE? It just doesn’t add up. I’m taking my business over to Julio’s, they’re getting raided all the time. Just last week, ICE hit ’em right when I was getting my enchiladas. That’s how you know it’s good.”
The owner of El Bandido has defended his restaurant, adamantly maintaining its authenticity. “I’m sure ICE will be here any day, I’ve got so many illegals in the back — just give us time!” stated Mr. Javier Lopez. “Please, you’ve got to believe me, there’s not one green card holder back there. I promise!”
At publishing time, Lopez had begun offering a free enchilada plate for any ICE officer who arrested one of his staff.
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