LOS ANGELES, CA — In a historic decision, the National Basketball Referees Association announced its intention of giving LeBron James his very own whistle to call his own fouls.
The innovation, which will go into effect during this year’s postseason, is intended to help ease the burden on refs arbitrating LeBron’s games by simply allowing him to call fouls on anyone who gets close to him.
“Before now, our referees were simply too exhausted after calling fouls every time LeBron flopped to the ground,” said Tony Franklin, an NBA head referee. “Giving LeBron his own whistle was a simple, elegant solution which continues to give LeBron as much official favoritism as possible with a minimum of referee exhaustion after games.”
“That doesn’t seem fair to me,” said one spectator before being interrupted by LeBron’s whistle and being ejected from the game.
Sources close to the Los Angeles Lakers say that the improvement has been tested during several practices with top-notch results.
“The King has been just killing it in practices with his new whistle,” said JJ Redick, the Lakers’ head coach. “As soon as anyone gets the ball from him — bam! He’s down on the ground and tweeting the whistle for dear life. Our next game will be quite a show.”
At publishing time, the NBA had further decided to let LeBron eject the other team’s players from the game.
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