AUSTIN, TX — In a moment of social awkwardness, billionaire inventor and entrepreneur Elon Musk was unable to pay for coffee after informing his friend, Steve, that none of his $850 billion fortune was liquid.
“Ah, man, I’m sorry,” Musk told Steve. “I can’t pay for my latte again, because, well, you know how it is. All my money is tied up in Tesla stock and SpaceX and all that stuff. I honestly don’t have the cash to cover this in liquid assets. You understand, right? I appreciate it, Steve.”
Steve later told reporters that this wasn’t the first time Musk had stuck him with the bill.
“It’s pretty much every time we go out,” Steve said. “I get that his money is tied up in all his companies and whatever, but he really should liquidate enough to pay for his own Big Beef and Cheddar at Arby’s. I’m doing OK, but I’m not loaded, and I can’t keep picking up the tab for our fast food and coffee runs.”
Musk said he was embarrassed, but he has to answer to his board before he pulls out any cash.
“It’s complicated, I’m afraid,” Musk explained. “Can you spot me this time, and next time I promise I’ll dig into a little of the SpaceX funds and take us out somewhere nice.”
At publishing time, Musk admitted he actually had no idea how to access any of his money and had been bumming cups of coffee off his friends for decades.
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