Kids these days are a bunch of weenies, and it all starts with not enough of them smoking cigarettes.
Doctors try to say cigarettes are bad for kids’ health, but that’s a bunch of bologna. None of the kids back in my day had asthma, and do you know why? It’s because we all smoked. Without cigarettes, children don’t develop their lungs properly. Nowadays, instead of sucking on Marlboros, kids run around sucking on vegan popsicles. And guess what? They’ve all got asthma, carrying around inhalers like a bunch of wimps.
Not smoking cigarettes has made kids soft and unappreciative. When I was a kid, there was no better feeling than finishing off a 14-hour shift at the shoe factory and sitting down to light up a cigarette. That was the reward for an honest day’s work, and we cherished every puff. But now, kids don’t want to work or smoke. They’re lazy bums and they choke on water, the little twerps.
We didn’t have much when we were kids, but we could always use our cigarettes to gamble. That’s how we made friends, learned math, and gained a little something called integrity. These days, kids only have robots for friends, and you can’t trust kids any farther than you can throw them. And that’s not very far, because they’re all so fat. They eat too much because they aren’t busy enough smoking. It all comes back to not enough cigarettes.
And don’t get me started on vape pens. We’ve got millions of little dunces out there now, sucking on cotton-candy flavored ink. If we’re going to turn this country around, it starts with throwing that sissy crap in the dumpster and getting your kids hooked on good ol’ fashioned cigarettes. That’s the only way back for this generation of dingbats.
These British police officers are keeping the streets safe from dangerous weapons.
