WASHINGTON, D.C. — The nation breathed a sigh of collective relief today as Trump announced that any immigrant working a taco truck would be spared from deportation.
Regardless of immigration status, any migrant found to be actively engaged in cooking or serving tacos out of a truck will be allowed to stay in the United States, so long as they continue providing the world with tacos.
“They are fine, the taco truck people,” said Trump. “Taco trucks are part of what makes America great, and the work these people do, it’s so beautiful. I don’t know why the tacos from a truck are so much better than restaurant tacos. They’re so much better, they’re fresh, and the cilantro they just chopped, it’s like gourmet stuff but out of a truck. So, they can stay.”
According to an internal memo, if ICE agents do happen to track an illegal immigrant to a taco truck, the immigrant is required to give each ICE agent at least one taco.
At publishing time, Trump had confirmed that some Mexican restaurant workers would receive a similar exemption, but only the restaurants where no one speaks English and there’s a picture of Mary on the wall.
Trump is cleaning house, and with Kash Patel as the presumptive head of the FBI, that department is no exception.
