PALM BEACH, FL — Evidence of America’s new focus on health and proper diet already began to appear, as restaurant customers reported seeing Robert F. Kennedy Jr. lurking at McDonald’s in a Grimace costume waiting to bust unhealthy eaters.
Multiple diners claimed to have personally witnessed Kennedy confronting other customers about their meal choices and reported hearing his trademark raspy voice emanating from the familiar purple McDonald’s mascot.
“That gravelly whisper coming from Grimace was unmistakable,” one McDonald’s customer said. “I was just finishing up my 20-piece Chicken McNuggets when I saw Grimace waddle up to another guy and ask him how he thought he’d feel in 20 years if he kept regularly eating Big Macs and apple pies. The guy was just trying to grab some lunch, but Grimace F. Kennedy Jr. wasn’t having it.”
Another customer explained his own interaction with who he also alleges was Kennedy. “It was totally him,” the man said. “I had just paid for my family’s meal when Grimace bumped up against me and said, ‘We will never create a healthier future until we love our children more than we love our Quarter Pounders with Cheese.’ His voice was quiet, but I could still tell he was seething with rage. In hindsight, I should have noticed something was off when Grimace’s biceps were that huge.”
A representative for RFK Jr. refused to confirm or deny that Kennedy had gone undercover to bust fast food customers and stated that the order his office had placed for a custom Grimace suit large enough to fit an adult male bodybuilder was unrelated.
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