The scourge of wokeness came for every part of our lives, and stole so many things we held dear to our hearts. Here are eight of the things that we will never forgive wokeness for taking from us:
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Airplanes that land with their wheels and wings still on: Wasn’t that so nice?
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Star Wars: You literally stole childhood from us, wokeness. Shame.
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Being able to smoke in delivery rooms when your baby is born: What’s even the point now?
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Polygonal boobs: The joy is gone from video games.
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Lutherans: Oh, Martin. You would have so many theses for your namesake.
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Chief Wahoo: It’s hard to talk about. The pain is so fresh.
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Wholesome schoolyard games like “Smear the Queer”: Simpler times.
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Calling female coworkers “toots” or “sugar buns”: You have to be so careful these days.
Curse you, wokeness! Curse you!
BIG NEWS: We made a movie, and you can watch the trailer NOW:
Click here to find out how you can watch the movie when it releases on October 11
