ST. PAUL, MN — In a stunning development today, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz’s dog “Scout” has officially endorsed Donald J. Trump for president in 2024.
“Bark!” said Scout in a statement.
The dog, reportedly one of Tim Walz’s closest friends in the world, confirmed that he was supporting Trump because of his position on immigration and support of Israel.
“Woof!” said Scout, doubling down on his position.
According to sources, Scout first became upset because Walz would be gone for weeks at a time on the campaign trail. Without his best friend, he began spending most of his time on the Internet to pass the time where he was reportedly radicalized by clips of Tim Walz lying about his military service and praising socialism.
When asked if he felt betrayed, Scout was quoted as saying, “Awooooo!”
The Kamala Harris team has been unsuccessful in their attempts to sweep the stinging rebuke of a dog under the rug. “We understand that Scout has different views on the direction of the country,” said campaign spokesperson Wilma White. “But we are not going back.”
“Yip yip,” said Scout, remembering that dog food prices were much cheaper under the Trump presidency.
At publishing time, Kamala Harris was forced to put Tim Walz down to save her polling numbers.
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