NEW YORK, NY — In addition to exploring the use of a “golden at-bat” in which teams could send their best hitter to the plate regardless of who was due up in the lineup, Major League Baseball is considering other ways to increase excitement during games, including allowing each team to call in one tactical air strike on their opponent’s outfield per game.
MLB executives privately expressed confidence that, similar to the implementation of the pitch clock and extra-inning ghost runners in recent years, allowing the use of tactical air strikes would add an aspect of spontaneity and tension to games and help the game hold fans’ attention.
“It should really ramp up the drama in competitive games,” said Commissioner Rob Manfred. “Once per game, each team will have the option to call in a tactical air strike against the other team’s outfield. This will add yet another strategic tool to every manager’s arsenal. ‘Should I pinch-hit against the lefty reliever? What about a double switch? What about calling in air support to wipe out their outfield?’ These are the kind of strategy decisions we want to have managers making during games.”
While the proposed air strike option is a dramatic change to the game, some teams expressed openness to give it a try. “It does add something extra to the game,” said Kansas City Royals Manager Matt Quatraro. “Shoot, if we had the option to use a tactical air strike against the Yankees’ outfield during the ALCS in October, it wouldn’t made a huge difference in the outcome of the series.”
At publishing time, MLB sources confirmed that officials were also considering allowing each team to have a sniper shoot an opposing player with a tranquilizer dart during their at-bat.
Climate change is NOT a hoax!
